Like most of ye popperlation I opted not to witness ye third leadership debate twixt Brown, Clegg and Cameron. Landlubbers everyone of 'em, not fit to hoist their own trousers, never mind split a mainbrace. I watched the Europa League footy instead. However, if Mad Cap'n Tom had been taking part it might have been a different story. He'd have given the mangy curs a run fer their money, ahaarrr. His remedy for fixing 'Broken Britain'? A roll of duct tape to be sent to all homes.
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