συνεχίστε την οικοδόμηση : It'll Be Nice When It's Finished

We've got a meeting this afternoon with Sid James (the builder) and Kenneth Williams (the architect) to discuss 'next steps' on completing our little building project and agree exactly who is going to extract their digit and how fast before I take a shotgun to one or both of them. It's not clear whether or not Charles Hawtrey is coming (a composite character in this performance, representing the various inept clods engaged by Sid James). Who knows? Maybe Frankie Howerd will turn up instead - we certainly need someone to exclaim "OO ERR MRS!"

Here's a few of the items for discussion:

• The Drains (ibid.)
• The bedroom wall is one metre short of where it should be. Bigger veranda but no room for a dressing table.
• Contrary to instructions the old water pipes were not removed. Concrete was poured over them and one pipe was left connected to the supply. So when the water was turned on, the floor was flooded. Duh! It's fortunate El Presidente told the builder not to put the tiles down yet.
• Stairwell windows the wrong size - completely different from the plans!
• Ceiling height 15 cm lower than it should be.
• and many more.