Sunday, 20 May 2012

Stuff That Should Be Disinvented

They bark, crap randomly, piddle unnecessarily, breed indiscriminately, and sniff each others' bottoms (and humans' nether regions too if given the chance). Some of them are dangerous.
Inappropriate and loud piped music in shops and restaurants
If yer fool enough to go to a disco, loud music probably helps the ambiance and frees up yer inhibitions a tad, especially if it's a good record, so fair enough. But attempting to eat whilst being forced to listen to some techno-bass-trip-hop in a room with lousy acoustics anyway is not much fun. Most people want to talk over a meal. Crap music plus bad acoustics makes this impossible causing a chap to have to talk louder and so it goes.
Christmas Records
If I have to hear Happy Christmas as enunciated by Mr Noddy Holder of the teenage pop combo Slade ever again, there will be measures. This cultural phenomenon is also the cause of several heinous crimes against music by Sir Clifford of Richard.
The Daily Mail
Right wing claptrap mostly made up. Biased, prejudiced, and responsible for misinforming and misleading gullible twits.
Currency Speculation
A chap can understand the business of stocks and shares being sold and traded as it relates to the performance of a single corporate entity. But currency speculation is related to the overall performance of a nation's, or zone's, economy which is made up of very diverse elements and which a government only nominally controls. Besides this, the only people who benefit from currency speculation are the speculators whereas entire national economies can lose by it. Seems daft that governments allow it!
Amongst other digital developments, autotune has inflicted upon us a series of talentless no-hopers and records that all sound the same. If you can't sing you shouldn't be a singer!
Eton & Oxford etc.
The old boy network that perpetuates social division and oppression, and results in idiots like Cameron becoming Prime Minister, and jobs for the boys. I could go on.
The definition of a gentleman is a chap who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Nuclear weapons
These have been used twice. By the USA in the name of democracy, against civilians. Otherwise the notion of Mutually Assured Destruction has inhibited their deployment - be grateful the Russians had them too. Meanwhile, 'conventional' warfare has continued unchecked so what's the point? The problem is that none of the Powers That Be want to be the first to get rid of them, but just think of all the money we could save!
Chelsea Football Club
Chchchtt, ptoo, splat!

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