Defeat of The Rest of The World

From our Chief Sports writer, Big Ron Cliche McCliche: 

The game got off to a brisk start with Haines playing as a lone striker up front, supported by a five-man midfield of Haines, Haines, Haines, Haines and Ray. But it became apparent that The Rest of The World were not to be sniffed at and they launched attack after attack stretching the central defensive set-up of Haines, Haines, Haines, Haines and A N Other. Before long the ROTW star striker Dusty Miller had penetrated the flat back five to shoot past Haines in goal, leaving Haines and Haines the two full backs stranded and forlorn. But led by their redoubtable captain, Haines, the Haineses reorganised and were soon back on level terms. Haines was tireless in midfield putting in a full shift and Haines at left back made typical forays down the wing, getting several challenging crosses into the box for Haines and Haines to test the ROTW goalkeeper - a safe pair of hands, and he kept his team in the game. But it was not until the fourth quarter that the Haineses pulled their master stroke by changing tactics, swapping Haines in goal with Haines in midfield. Haines got the winner with only minutes to spare.