Apple's latest attempt to dominate the mobile telephone market seems to have fallen flat, in a sorry repeat of their previous efforts that resemble week-old spinach more than the claimed technological breakthrough. A mere 1,297 queued up at the Apple Shop in Regent Street, only to be disappointed by the mish-mash of out-dated applications and inaccurate mapping information. "No matter how you spell it," said one miserable chump who had been camping around outside the store all night, "it all adds up to one big 'Duh!'"
Meanwhile, the latest innovation from Xorg Inter-Galactic was being demonstrated on the streets of New York, America. The xPhone29 outstrips all its rivals in terms of price, reliability and portability. Available now at all good stores where quality is the watchword.
(Pretty ladies in fur coats not included)