Sunday, 11 December 2011

Notice to All Cats

That's it! Enough!
I have just spent a happy half hour or so clearing up various piles of cat shit from my back garden. Must have been several kilos worth, distributed randomly. Yecch, disgustomundo and other expletives.
Let it be henceforth known throughout this vicinity that in spite of the interweb tubes being festooned with pictures of adorable cats doing cute or clever things, I do not like cats crapping in my garden. I don't mind cats existing; just go and exist somewhere else, preferably all over the keyboard of your owner who thinks you are so flippin' adorable.
I have a selection of sharp and heavy objects by the back door. Should anything of the feline persuasion come anywhere within hurling range, whether innocently or not, one or more of these missiles will be aimed at it. There are no second chances. Death awaits you.

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