Lurgi

Groan. I've been laid low for the past few days with some kind of cold/flu or generally winterish type of grottyness. Condition improving, thanks to proprietary drugs and inhalation of menthol and eucalyptus, but also to a patent home remedy supplied by my mother-in-law:

• Mix together one tablespoon each of olive oil, honey and whisky. Beat with a fork until well amalgamated and drink in a couple of gulps. Spiffing! The olive oil and honey ease the throat and the whisky anaesthetises the consciousness, thereby overcoming the symptoms and aiding sleep.