Golfers

I think golf is one of the most boring sports ever invented. And somehow or other it seems to take over the sensible parts of the brains of golfers and the chaps who administer the game. I once accompanied some chums of mine who are keen golfers, whilst they played. I was allowed to be an observer only - my complete lack of experience in playing golf meant I was forbidden from taking part. I only lasted for half the round - by the cringe it was tiresome and, what's more, they didn't seem very happy and seemed to do nothing but complain and moan. So I went back to the Club House and read a book. Meanwhile, it rained. But this did not deter the golfers who eventually returned wet as well as miserable and frustrated. Takes all sorts.

Any road up, I'm just listening idly to BBC Radio 5 at the moment, as I do from time to time, and they are all in a right tizz and no mistake. It seems Europe and the USA are supposed to be playing a golfing tournament known as the Ryder Cup today and over the weekend, but it's raining cats and dogs so play is impossible. So it goes. But what is mind-boggling about this affair is that the tournament is taking place in Newport, South Wales in the Autumn. Az eny fule kno, it often rains in Wales - especially in the Autumn - that's why The Powers That Be built reservoirs there to store rainwater to be piped to other parts of the UK where there is less rain. Well, dur.

A beneficial side-effect of this, however, is that the commentators on Radio 5 are having to fill in their broadcast time with something or other and it's all getting a tad bizarre. We've just had a discussion about 'dog pedometers' and whether or not a dog finds it more difficult to run uphill than a human does. And John Inverdale has asked listeners in Gleneagles to let him know if it's raining there - because the tournament is to be held in Gleneagles in four years' time. When it might or might not be raining.