Friday 6 November 2009

ΔΗΜΟΣ ΛΑΡΝΑΚΑΣ: Return of the Son of the Bureaucracy Strikes Back!

  • Part 1: To get planning permission you either have to have provision for a parking place, or pay Larnaca Municipality €5,125.80 as a kind of tax.  And you can't opt to have neither. So we went to great lengths in our earlier application to show that we  have space for a parking place round the back and that we have access via Uncle George's land, duly registered with the Land Registry. The Powers That Be were eventually satisfied with this and issued a permit. However, we had a phone call yesterday via Niky's cousin to tell us that t'Council wanted to have an authorised copy of this permission, with supporting documentation, included in the present Building Regulations application. But says I, it was t'Council what issued it and they know they've issued it and they've got a copy on their file. Yes but, no but, says t'Council functionary it is your responsibility to provide the necessary papers, and we don't go looking in our files and photocopying stuff for you. Erm, hang on matey. You know you've given the permission re the parking place and you know it's on file, why do you need a copy anyway? "There must be a complete set of documentation on each application." Ho Hum. So El Presidente gets on the blower to Dikiaos the architect (in Nicosia) and asks for the permit etc and he says he'll send it by courier so we can hand it in at t'Council. It got to the couriers office too late yesterday, so El Presidente had to take it in this morning. But guess what? Dikiaos hadn't sent all the papers they require! So El Prez phoned him and got t'Council functionary to speak to him directly and put him on the right track. So this will all be coming by courier today - however t'Council office shuts at 2.30pm so I reckon we've missed that. (Apparently it is not permitted for the papers to be sent directly from the architect to t'Council. They have to come through us.) So now it'll be Monday before anything further happens. Meanwhile, t'Council functionary assures us that otherwise everything is hunky dory and it's just these papers they want. To be fair, the functionary, named Monica, is quite a pleasant and well-mannered lady who is sympathetic. But rules is rules.
  • Part II: After El Presidente had got back from t'Council, she was summoned in a panic by Anna who rents the downstairs flat. She gets the Cyprus equivalent of Council Tax Benefit and had been contacted to say that it will be stopped forthwith because she doesn't have a proper and current rental agreeement. Oh yes she does, says El Prez, I did it myself. Oh no you don't, it has to be duly registered with The Tax Office and we want it today! This was at half twelve and the Tax Office shuts at one o'clock. So a mad dash ensues to get the agreement registered with the Tax Office and deposited with the Council Tax Benefit Office. El Presidente managed this with minutes to spare, meanwhile having to part with fees of €11 plus €3 in stamps. Anna has been renting the flat for over ten years - why didn't anyone in the bureaucracy mention this requirement before?
It must be a payback for all the bad kharma generated while I was working for the British Government...

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