Muzak

So there we were, sitting in an aeroplane awaiting take off and there's some music playing over the PA system. Kenny G doing his bland-out version of 'Something'. Aaaagh, by the cringe, b****y dreadful. Then another time, I was in a restaurant and there was some piped music infiltrating my consciousness; 'Something' being played by the syrup strings and melted piano orchestra of soporific inanity. Aaaagh. what makes these people think doing this is worthwhile?

It is of course a heinous crime to do this to George Harrison's song. But they don't stop there. Further abominations occur, any musicality well and truly neutered out of existence. No doubt you have had similar experiences. In lifts; in supermarkets; in shopping malls and in airports. And nothing is immune. But there is someone who has tried to do something about it - Brian Eno, who unsuprisingly is not actually a musician. He has pretty much cornered the market in 'Ambient Sounds': music which you can choose either to notice or ignore and it won't annoy you either way. His album Music for Airports is a classic. It is neither here nor there, but if you do actually listen closely it is very relaxing indeed.